I’ve screwed up again. I know You’ve got to be tired of hearing this crap over and over again, but I can never seem to get it right. Every time I take two steps closer to Your embrace I stumble and fall away. I’m afraid though that this time is different. I didn’t just get my usual scraped up knees and bloody nose. I have serious internal injuries. The brunt of the damage seems to have been taken by my heart. My passion, drive, and even faith have all suffered. I’ve had one of those earth-shattering moments. You know the kind. I feel like I may never be myself again.
Maybe that’s a good thing. I’ve never really been too fond of myself. I’ve always liked it better when I managed to resemble Your Son just a little bit. More of Him and less of me, I suppose.
I guess what I’m really writing to tell You is that I’m weary. I’m tired of making stupid decisions and then blaming You for the lackluster results. I no longer have earthly desires. They’re too fleeting; too easy to lose. I just want you. It’s weird. I’m a grown man and all I want is for my Father to lift me up into His arms and hold me. I want You to tell me it’s all going to be okay; that You’re going to protect me from myself from this moment on.
I want an army of angels.
I want to understand Your Word with the clarity that has too often evaded me.
I want the Holy Spirit to zap me like lightning.
I want Your Son in His glorified flesh to sweep down from the Heavens and establish His Kingdom.
I’m sorry God, but I want it now. I know things work in Your time and according to Your will, but I’m afraid that if You don’t move soon I may destroy things down here beyond repair.
Please Lord consider my request.
Thanks,
Clark








Writer Clark D. Goble started this blog as a means to chronicle his imperfect walk with a Perfect Savior and invites you to join in on the conversation. He also invites you to check out the links to his work. Most often, Clark writes about Jesus and theology. He also enjoys writing fiction in a variety of genres.
Todd French is an information technology professional and a resident of Columbus, Ohio; where he shares a humble abode with his darling wife and beautiful daughters. His interests run the gambit from reading voraciously all forms of fiction to rooting for the Cleveland Browns.